Guess what? The cat got vaccinated, I passed my CPR test, now we wait for the phone call, we have our home study and we are foster parents!!! Crazy huh?
I am opening my heart yet again to one of lifes biggest blessings and greatest heartaches with the end result of adopting a baby. I've learned that when you're ready to expand your family there really is no option that is the "easy way". There is love involved, therefore the potential to be hurt is also there. Whether it's a pregnancy, a long wait for an international adoption with all of the unknowns, or the route we're going. But this one just feels right to us. In fact the more we learn about foster care, the more we feel ourselves being involved in it long term. The part that makes me nervous is that I am a girl who rarely gets what I've ordered, but I've learned to love onions. Let me explain.
The boys and me...yes I'm a horrible mom for not serving them whole grain organic meals three times a day with all food groups of the pyramid represented. Usually I do. But also we go to McDonalds. Especially when Mike is at work. He's much more health consious than I am...I mean than the boys are. Every time we get the same thing. Three cheeseburgers with NO ONIONS, a small fry to share and water to drink. We use the drive through because while I will let my children digest the chemicals compacted into the cheeseburgers, those playlands gross me out like nothing else. Go figure.
Now, McDonalds seems to really have their heads in the game. Having two lanes that empty into one in the magic drive through, a computerized screen that shows you your order so that they don't mess it up, a robot that does the drinks automatically, even an automatic machine for what they like to call "coffee". What they aren't quite ahead on however is getting my "double checked for accuracy" order right. Onions, almost every time. Yep, it's on the screen NO ONIONS. It's on my recipt NO ONIONS. It's on the order sheet taped to the burgers NO ONIONS. I take a bite...ONIONS. But by this time I'm almost home and they know that since I spent $4 TOTAL on the bill, I am not going to put the effort into driving back to their establishment and requesting a new one or causing a scene. That's why I was in their drive through in the first place...I HAVE NO EFFORT TO GIVE!!
Another Guy I place my order with a lot is God. "Please keep my husband safe," "Please keep my kids healthy," "Please heal Audrey," "Please be with our baby wherever she is," the list goes on and on. Sometimes He gets it right and sometimes He doesn't give me what I ordered. He took my mom away at an early age. He took my first born before she took her first breath. These were both things I certainly did not order. And with each new life change I could kick and scream and demand a new option, getting me nowhere, or I could chill out and learn to like onions. I am a different person because of my suffering. I have a bleeding heart that can reach out to people that I didn't have before I faced what God had on my menu. I have an aunt who is my mom now and that has brought such joy and fun and laughter to my life. How many other people get to be their own cousin? Not many. You're jealous a little bit, aren't you? And I love my kids so, so much BECAUSE their journey here was not easy. A huge reminder not to take such things for granted.
So as we wait for this next baby I look at the pink and brown pack and play I have set up in my room. I pray at night for the baby/ies that will sleep there for however long they will be with us and for the situation they are in right now. The paperwork had me fill in a space for me to place my order and I wrote down "girl under 18 months" knowing full well that almost guarantees me a little black boy over 18 months. That's just how God works. And that's who I see sleeping in my pink pack and play. But you know what? I'm going to teach him to like pink...and I'm going to teach him to like onions.
Please join me on this journey. I can't do it without you!
