Out of their little mouths...

Grab your coffee, hot chocolate or martini of choice because once agian, it's story time, but this time, it's about those funny Johnson boys:

1. Yesterday I wanted the boys to nap SO bad. We have had two days of HECK with them because they won't nap PLUS they are learning to fight like cats. So I put them in their bunks and threatened them with the swatting spoon from the get go. "If you boys get out of bed or talk, I will go down stairs and get the spoon. " Their eyes got as big as silver dollars and they said, "Okay mamma!" They immediately laid down and were silent. I went to the next room and watched my latest addiction, Adoption Story on Discovery Health, and over it I could barely hear them chattering. Then they got louder...and louder...until suddenly they were full on yelling because Tyler wouldn't go get Blake a book he wanted. I really wouldn't spank the boys for talking, so I shouldn't have threatened it in the first place so I muted the TV and yelled, "BOYS, THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING!" Dead silence. Then I hear Tyler, 3, from the bottom bunk say, "Blake, what did she thay?" (He has a lisp that is priceless.) Silence. "Blake, what did she thay? Did she thay this is our last morning?" Again, Blake fearing the spoon, said nothing. "Blake, I just don't know what she thaid and I just need thumbody to tell me what she means!" 5 minutes later, they were sound asleep, after their final morning. =-)

2. Today at naptime I had a suprise for them. They always sleep with a CD on and I had just fixed a Veggie Tales CD they used to listen to all the time. While they were laying down, I pushed play and it started. I expected them to freak with excitement. Instead Blake (5) said, "Mommy, it's my turn to pick the music,"

I said, "I know honey, but I fixed your CD so I put it on for you."

He replied, "But I need to listen to the radio because I need to hear the news. If we listen to the CD, I'll miss the news and won't know what's going on." Yep, he's Mike's kid.

3. The other day I took Tyler to a scrapbooking store. The gal who worked there was about 19 and wearing low-rise jeans. She was filling up a sticker rack that was on a bottom shelf so she was squatting down and her pants were very low. Tyler was watching what she was doing very carefully. I was in a different section of the store and all of a sudden heard him say in his non-indoor voice, "Aren't you going to pull your panth up?" (again with his lisp) I wanted to run out of the store and leave him there, but I think you can get arrested for that. The gal just looked at him without a smile and reached back and pulled her panth up. I went and took his hand and kept him with me.

Later that day Blake and Ty were playing with their Legos. They didn't know I was listening. Tyler, out of the blue says, "Hey Blake, today at the store, I sawed a girls underbuns!" Not kidding! Aparently locker room talk starts at 3. Dear Lord, help me!