He gets it...

Today I'm writing my story for my friend who is going to school to become a Doula. I told her I would possibly like to do the same some day, mainly to be there for mothers who have still-born babies. There is just so much I want to make sure these mothers know about this experience and almost nobody gets to plan for it. Since I can't be there for everyone I want to make sure people who are there know what I want them to know, in hopes that it can help make someones journey a little easier. For example, everything Hope ever touched, her blanket, her outfit, was buried with her. If I had thought that through I really would have liked to have held on to one of those items. But it was so chaotic and over so fast... an outsider who is thinking of details would really be helpful.
So, anyway, I'm sitting on the couch with my laptop writing section two of the story. Blake comes up to the computer and starts hitting buttons, thinking it's funny, while mentally I was writing about calling my best friend and telling her Hope had died (Not a good time to joke with mommy). I took his hand off the computer and said, "Honey, can you do me a favor? Can you go upstairs and watch a show while mommy writes for a bit and then I'll come up and play with you?"
He said, "But I want to write with you."
"Well, I'm writing about something that is sad and I kind of need to be alone for a little bit. Just take Ty upstairs for one show and I'll be up."
"What are you writing about?" he asks.
"I'm writing to my friend who wants to know about baby Hope."
He sat quiet for a bit. "Why did she die if she's just a baby?"
"Do you mean because usually it's old people who die?"
"Yeah." He and Tyler were both just staring at me.
"Well, we may never know. You know when we go to the doctor and they check you with the stethoscope and poke your belly and your back and your ears and your toes to make sure your whole body is okay?" They both nodded yes. "Well, after your sister was born they did that same thing and they did not find ONE thing wrong with her! She was a perfect little baby. But you know what?"
"What?" they both said.
"When things that are sad or scary happen to us and Jesus helps us get through them, if we tell our friends that Jesus helped us and that we're okay now, it can sometimes help other people."
I thought, surely I'd lost them. Why was I trying to explain something so complicated to a 5 year old and a 3 year old? Because I'm a stay-at-home mom and this is probably the closest thing I'll get to adult conversation today. That's why. Then I saw a little light-bulb go off. It was Blake.
"You mean like how I used to be really scared to go through the car wash? And now I'm not anymore? So I tell Tyler he'll be okay and if he sits on Daddy's lap he does okay?"
"Just like that."
They got off the couch. Blake went up stairs and Ty followed him with his airplane arms sticking out. They watched their show and let me write.
And he gets it. In his own precious five year old way, he gets it.